Monday, October 26, 2009

A Cinderella Story...

So I went a pretty b***chy on my last entry so I decided today, I'm not gonna do that. Because it's more fun to write about other stuff, stuff that makes me happy and stuff that I found it amusing.

Today, I'm gonna write about Cinderella. Pretty surprising because those who knew me would know I hate damsel-in-distress fairy tales thing. Sleeping Beauty is the absolute worst in my opinion. For the Sleeping Beauty fans, no offense!!! I have my reasons. One, she's overly privileged. Because she's happen to be the princess of the land, the fairies had to kiss the king's a** by giving her the gift of skin white as snow, lips red as blood and hair dark as ebony. People killed themselves to get those and she got it before she even knew she needed it. Typical!!! Two, despite the protection that she from the evil witch, she's hopeless. How on earth she got stupid enough to put her hand on the sharp needle? Can't she sense the danger to it? Three, after she got stupid, she still got what she wants, a good long sleep and a prince to accompany her to her la la land. So dumbfounded. And plus when I knew the original version, I like her less. In the original version, she was so beautiful that when she fell asleep, her father saw her lying there so beautiful and decided to fornicate her (for those who didn't understand, simply put he f**k her) and the evil witch doomed for 100 years and for that 100 years of slumber, she was the 'touch and go' for those who passed by (or maybe pretend to pass by) because she was too beautiful to be left behind. And after 100 years, she woke up when she found out that a prince was on his first gear to...you know what. She fell in love with him and she married him. Without knowing that the prince was going to...you know what to her and she's been the main course for countless of men for 100 years. Isn't that dumb???

Clearly, with hating Sleeping Beauty, it figured I hate Cinderella too. But there's one version of Cinderella that I absolutely love, Cinderella from Roald Dahl's revolting rhymes. And I'm sure those who hated Cinderella story will love this version too. Don't trust me? Just watch below...



Why I love this version??? Number one, who could not love anything written by Roald Dahl??? He's an absolute genius!!! I probably owed my English to mister Dahl. He gave me so much happiness when I was a child when I read his Charlie and Chocolate Factory, Mathilda, Giant Peach!!! He's a wonder and a brilliant writer. Number two, it actually got a pretty lesson compared to the typical Cinderella story. The only lesson that I can derived from the traditional Cinderella is sit tight and let other whack the hell lot of you and eventually you'll get what you deserve. Darling, it's not as simple as that. Sometimes when you try your hardest, if it's not meant for you it will not. But this Cinderella got a real lesson. A very good one to for the girls, don't be fooled by status or inheritance. See the prince? A great example...Number three, because this tale got the word slut!!! ha, ha no explanation needed...Number four, it's still a good literature piece for children (minus the slut but sooner or later they gonna pick the word..) it got matching rhymes, the language is simple and it is very easy for children to read. It proved that Mr. Dahl is in his own class, making fun of the tales but still instill some old touch to spice up the thing...

Good news, this is not the only tales that Dahl messed up!! he messed up another 5 tales. Recommendation, watch Red Riding Hood and Three Little Pigs. It's brilliant!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Shut up and leave me alone!!!!

I don't like to b***ch around seriously personal things in my blog or to my friends (except for julie and mugi - sorry guys for becoming my victims!!!) but this time, I just gotta do it. Perhaps for some unlucky bloke who come across reading this can learn one thing which is: JUST SHUT YOUR TRAP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!

I spent my weekend helping and participating my cousin's weeding. She's a doctor waiting for posting and she's the only cousin from my mom's side whom is the same age of me (19 ++) and with her being married, that leaves me as the oldest unmarried cousin (ding! ding! ding...! there goes the boxing bell!!!) and the elders just love to put that into perspective....happy as I am to be my cousin got married with a pretty nice guy in my opinion but if I can summed up the experience of the wedding it would be...If God created living hell on earth, I can say I've been there 2 days ago.

I can't really blame my mom for worrying over me. She earns the rights, I'm her daughter and frankly speaking, I ain't do much to improve my love life. But just please take one second in my life. I'm currently two weeks away to finish my degree but my workloads are as high as the Fiji mountain. I live on burgers for meals because it's fast and I use my facebook to see what my classmate are up to. Now how on Earth will I have time to mind my love life????How do I find the time to gear up to meet the bachelors??? Even if I went, I will not be able to enjoy because my mind will wander about the work. Even my social time is totally empty. I can't remember the last time I went for movies or the last time I hung up with my friends at mamak. Looking at this situation, it's pretty understandable that I can't find anyone.

But actually I am not mad at my mom, also I am not mad at my situation. What I am mad about is whenever this matter is brought up but some elders, it will end up of me being guilty. I tried to see it as a loving gesture but after one bomb after another, I started to resent it and I actually thinking like I'm the sacrificial lamb for the occasion. Here are their reasons: Number one, because I'm loud and obnoxious and that's not the way a 'gadis melayu' should behave. Number two, because I am too choosy and no one is good enough for me. Number three is I am focusing way too much in my dreams that I abandon this matter. So for sitting there hearing everything being thrown right on your face do makes you feel like you wanna to punch everyone you've met that day. Is it really pathetic being 19++ and single??? Is it really bad that I don't feel like getting married now??? I am not gonna lie, seeing the fancy dress and the celebration do stir up my heart...do make my heart ache for it... but to abandon all reasons just to catch up with something that I can't control??? I am not gonna do that...

When I was being attacked of being not 'gadis melayu', I feel like I am gonna scream 'How dare you to judge me like that!!!' Strictly speaking, if I were to accumulate the contact hours that I spent with them in a year I would say like 10 to 11 hours. So based on that, you think you got me figured out from A to Z??? Do you even know that my favorite color is brown??? Or I am ridiculously afraid of cockroaches??? Or I love to read and buy people's biography??? So just back off!!! I know I am loud, I'm wild and I like to have own opinion and I am DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!!! And isn't it a cheat on yourself to change to someone not you just to have someone to like you??? Isn't it a cheat on your future partner if you're masking yourself and hide your true self? Those people have no idea how hard for me to love myself. I spend these last years of my life hating to look into the mirror. I suddenly got serious acne problem and it pained me just to look at it. Even more painful when someone made a remark of it. Sometimes I even think that one of the reason that one of ex was cheating on me is because of that. And because of that, I started to resent the other part of me, I started to feel like I have a clown-size nose, a flat out bottom and whenever I look at other girls, I resented myself even more. And it pained me when I am not able to confide this to others. Just when I started to gear up and love myself for who I really am, 'acnefull' or 'acneless', here they come shooting me down. Couple of times I thank God for blessing me with inner strength because it is the only thing that keeps me from being shattered. The same goes for their comment of me being choosy. How much they know about my life??? Do they know how much I tried to repair my first relationship when I found out that he was cheating on me and it came down to nothing because he cheated on me again??? Do they know how much I struggle loving a man who is not a Muslim and constantly reassuring him that I love him for who he is and also end up with nothing because he's too coward to face the talk and resentment from our families??? Do they know any of that??? After all I've through, don't I deserve to be a little bit choosy or in other word 'careful'??? Don't I deserved to really look out for myself because I am so tired of being stomped at my heart??? Don't I deserve that??? Do they know that I've once wished that let all bones break except my heart because I think any broken bone is painless compared to when your heart get broken...

And for living on my dreams right now...I really want to ask them do they gain anything if I do get married???? Or maybe they have a running bet on me, let's guess how many years it will be till Nico got hitched??? Because what I do with my life is my business and my matter. Plus, I am not doing anything stupid with my life. I am not running away to Thai to become a stripper or just lazing at home, getting fat and getting wasted. I have a dream to see the world, to educate myself better and to gain as much experience as much as I can while I'm still young. Perhaps these dream do hinder me to settle down because I think it's unfair for me to have a time of my life while someone else is just waiting for me to come back. For me that's not how marriage supposed to be. If I can find someone to share my dream and my wish, I'll consider settling down. But it's also unfair if he's living on my dream and not his. I can't do that to someone, especially if that someone sincerely loved me with all his heart and soul. It's too cruel and demeaning.

So please people, before you think you know why someone is being in any unfavorable situation, I beg you to think again. Because you think you know, but most of the time you have no idea. I'm ending this with a clip from one of my favorite movie 'The Holiday'. Hear what Kate Winslet talked about her broken heart and think, what you feel if someone you love said that to you after you asked her/him about their love lives? Think about it...


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Reality check!!!

I haven't been here for a long time and my couple last entires were usually about me b****ing about my life, my work and almost everything that consummated my chakra and my sanity. Tonight I've got an unexpected chance to relax and sitting here late at night can't sleep (because my biological clock is topsy turvy) so I figured this is the time for me to do some reality check. But not about me, about the one of thing I love most, broadcasting program!!!!

I'm not ashamed to admit, I'm a freak of reality TV show. But a freak as I am, I choose my reality TV show meticulously. Survivor, yes...Keeping up with the Kardashian, No...So You Think You Can Dance?, yes...The Hills, no...I think you got the picture...I don't watch reality TV that features skanks who all day only wanting to air either their silicon boobs or giant tushy on air. I like to watch, real people in competition...making their ordinary lives to become extraordinary and admitting their strength and mistake on TV to be watched and judged by everyone!! That's the kind of thing I like...so, I'm just gonna do a short list of my 5 favorite reality shows and why I like them so much...

5. American Idol
Reason: First reason: Simon Cowell, Second reason: Simon Cowell. Third reason: Simon Cowell...most of the charm of the show comes from him. You may hate him, you may love him but it's an undeniable fact that he's a master. His word is the law. From his gawky accent right to his metaphorical critiques, he's never came in short. He's there to bring the drama and he delivers it, time after time...another thing worthy to watch in the American Idol...the audition. Platform of the highest ego of the most tone-deaf person you've ever met in your life. Miracles do happen there even if you are rejected. Remember William Hung??? But of course, there's talent there as well. I've been watching American Idol since season 3 and until now some of the contestants are down right magically talented. I still got shivers listening to Fantasia and I've rooted for Chris Daughtry since the very beginning and he's doing well. The latest season is a bit dull for me but still, I'm fine with American Idol over The Simple Life...

4. Cari Menantu
Reason: Actually, the main reason is I will feel a little guilty if I didn't put any Malaysian brands in here. Feels like I'm not 1 Malaysia or something. So I've picked up my personal best choice for the Malaysian reality. But actually, this show does have some strong points. Number 1, it helps those who wanted to get marry with money constrain. Number 2, it injected Islamic content in the show which I think it's great, it makes the contestant sort of 'muhasabah diri' if they are ready to carry the burden of becoming either a wife or a husband. Number 3, it ends up well compared to most of love searching reality show like The Bachelor or I Want to Marry a Millionaire. So in one way, it's a new concept but not tragically too alien to become a total shock to our scenarios and values. There's only one season of the series, perhaps channel 9 are broke sponsoring 3 elaborated weddings of unknown couples so maybe that is why they decided not to continue the show...

3. America's Next Top Model
Reason: because I'm a girl that's why!!!! Other than that, the show actually an eye opener for me. Firstly, the intensity of young girls battling their way to the top for the sake of the competition is a sign that most girls need to be recognize beautiful to feel beautiful. Secondly, it gave me the impression of modeling is not necessarily mean bulimic sticks walking back and fourth to runway, it's more than that. Thirdly, girl loves seeing other girls being b***hy to other girls!!! if you're looking for a cat fight, this is the place to be. Sometimes the girls argued about the simplest thing in life, like whose hogging the phone all the time or whose dishes were not washed...something like that. Couldn't help but giggle at them sometimes. I agree model are not totally dumb...but they are not totally smart either...

2. The Biggest Loser
Reason: If you're looking for the show that truly change someone's life, then this is the show to watch. Compared to any other reality, fame and money is not the ultimate goal, but the transformation or the morphing of themselves is the goal. The show taught me so much about life, struggle and bonus, about health as well. Every time I watch the show on TV or youtube, I can't help but smile in front of the TV, whether when I'm watching it alone or watching it with my family. Whenever the contestant jumped over the cloud celebrating their weight lost, I feel like little by little, they started to move away from the dark cloud that always hover over them because of their low self-esteem towards their physical and emotional image. The show is call The Biggest Loser, but there's only one thing they lost, which is the weight. Their gainings are worth more than any millions in the world. They gained their health, their self worth and their motivation. Wanna see for some real life inspiration? Watch season 3 Australian Biggest Loser contestants, Sean, John and Alison and watch season 4 Australian Biggest Loser contestants, Bob, Tiffany and Sharif. They are the unknown yet for me truly inspiring and alluring.

AND THE NUMBER ONE GOES TO....

1. The Amazing Race
Why The Amazing Race after I'm saying a lot of good stuff about The Biggest Loser? Because there are things in Biggest Loser that tend to make my nerve wreck. First, sometimes the pacing of the series are too lagging and I tend to skip episodes because I just can't wait to see the weigh-in session. Second, the unnecessary drama makes me feels like...come on, this is so corny!! Like switching members, switching weight loss...they don't need that!! Thirdly, the assessment itself. The winner is determine only by the percentage of weight loss. Which mean if someone shed like 80% of his or her weight loss and appear in final like auditioned zombie for the next X-files movie, then he or she would be the winner!!! It's not that fair and quite dangerous too. They should also measure percentage of fat loss, biological age count and others. Then the real result is more conclusive.

Enough about Biggest Loser. Now, why I love the Amazing Race so much? Number 1, the concept of the show itself. It's a race around the world where you can experience many things that you could never attempt to do in real life. They have done it 15 times in US now, still the concept works. Number 2, the unintentional drama, their flights got delayed, the taxi driver is a F1 driver wannabe, someone got lost, someone's car is broken...it gives us an impression no one is really safe in the competition. Today, you're no 1 but bam!!! It's bye-bye birdie the next day!!! Number 3, the locals...it's so much fun to see the local laugh to see the contestant attempting the local's task that seemed to be mundane for the locals but scorching pain for the contestant. Number 4, it promotes tourism and world culture which is a tribute for the road of understanding and humanity. And lastly it's fun to see how people, or the contestant bits by bits shedding their true skin and show their true nature. In the competition, the real test awaited the teams. Will the couple break? Can their friendship survive this? Can the family sticks together? Can they listen to each other? all that will be revealed as they go along the race. Right now is the season 15 of The Amazing Race but I'm watching back to back of the 14th season just to ease my mind. Maybe someday I'll find a worthy partner to join me in The Amazing Race. If I got in the competition, guess what is my choice of challenge??? It will be bungee jumping, I've been dreaming to do that my whole life!!!


So that's my choice...how about u? (although i don't think anyone will be reading this...)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Wartime...

It's war for us, TESL batch!!!!

25 days to complete:

1.CALL software
2.PD seminars
3. Thesis (argh!!!!!)
4. mountains of ASSignments, presenTENSION and movie reviews.

My armours for this war:
1. patience
2. patience again
3. not enough patience so I'll add some more
4. GUTS, GUTS and GUTS!!!!
5. paracetamol, ponstan and other drug for incoming migraine bombs
6. money and phone in hand for a lot of food deliveries
7. laughter and facebook for diversion tactics

Required armours:
1. extra brains to compartmentalize the works
2. extra hands to kill many birds with one stone
3. pawns to complete my work and I took all the credit

Am I ready??? I don't think I'll ever be ready...
Will I perform my best? I don't think so but I am sure that I'll put a solid effort....

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This is the tribute for the single ladies

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who woke up in the morning greeted with the empty four walls,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
For make honest living and keep on living.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who live in their own house, drive their own cars and pay their own bills,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who save for a fabulous holiday instead of kids' college fees.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who is not ashamed to say 'table for one
' or 'ticket for one'
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who just dismiss the looks and enjoy the day.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who rather be lonely than having an affair,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
For putting herself first not others that pretend they care.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
For putting on a dress and go to a wedding,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who hate the questions but answer them gracefully.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who pick themselves up and be their own prince,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who keep hold on their own instinct

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who believe that they will be fine and will find the one,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Who stop worrying and keep flirting.

This is the tribute for the single ladies,
Just like me, you and you,
This is the tribute for the single ladies,
I salute you for loving who you really are



Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Happy Ramadhan...

This fasting month, i wish for....

- to have the best ramadhan yet...
- to be blessed by Allah
- to not gain unnecessary weight nor to lose unnecessary money (actually too late to wish that)
- to gain peace and composure that I've longed for
- to be my last ramadhan as UiTM student....

Amin


http://www.igetworld.com/nico_izzat - help me to get duit raya!!!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Life is great even if it sucks!!!!

My life if I want to see it is clearly is suck...I'm 25 years old, jobless, single, having no grand inheritance, battling wrinkles and pimples at the same time...but tiny, weeny minute little details can make my life less miserable...per se....

a. I'm having double jimbe2 weekend!! Last week at PD and this week at Hulu Yam!!!
b. My chapter 1 and 2 got approved in one shot!!!!
c. This Ramadhan, I can break fast 4 times at home, thanks to sexyfoxy!!
d. I am so good with Geo-Challenge and it proves I haven't lost my mojo in Geography!!!
e. Two people owed me 2 dozens of JCO!!!!

sometimes not looking at the big picture and running away from reality helps..

Thursday, August 6, 2009

So sleepy...

It's 9 am and I'm in my CALL class...feeling so sleepy and drowsy and in my mind:

- how warm my bed right now
- what am I gonna eat later?
- I need to finish laundry
- I need to but swimming cap, sunblock and sunglasses
- Can't wait till Friday for J.co, Saturday and Sunday for jimbe2 at PD!

so sleepy.....

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I hate...

I hate flu and sore throat,

It worsen my blues on Monday,

But then I realize it’s me that I hate,

For not taking of myself until it’s too late.


I hate traffic jams and red lights,

They are so irritating and a waste,

But then I realize it’s me that I hate,

For not planning my journey first ahead.


I hate my mother for questioning my head,

Sometimes I wish she never care instead,

But then I realize it’s me that I hate,

For not being a daughter that she craves.


I hate getting my heart to be stomped and break,

For weeks I cry myself to bed,

But then I realize it’s me that I hate,

For letting my heart takes over my head.


I hate the wars, betrayal and hate,

People got killed and innocent blood is spill,

But then I realize it’s me that I hate,

For only talking and just remain still.


I hate the way I wrote this entry,

The lines are dull and the verse is fake,

But then I realize it's me that I hate,

For caring the outer not the intake...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Assumptions...

My life has always been a drama. When I did my diploma in Polymer Technology, I always ended up having to explain what is it all about. Now that I'm heading to new direction, most of the time when I've met someone new and saying that I'm doing TESL, I get all sorts of assumption and comments about being a TESL student. Here, let me share a bit of facts about us...

First off, let's start with the wrong assumption...

1. Seriously we don't know everything about English. Have you ever heard the phrase 'the more you know, the more you don't know?' It's true for us. Maybe we are blessed for being 'officially' credited as proficient in the language but believe us, we are not Noam Chomsky or Stephen Krashen or the other 'gods' in language. We do make mistakes now and then. And it really helps us if you understand especially when we help our friends with their assignments or thesis. If you're thinking of asking our help (which is something that some of us love to do), please note the following:
a. Don't beat around the bush, simple is the best. When is too flowery, we get confused.
b. Please don't ask us to paraphrase too much, especially if it's a thesis about scientific things. Our brains are not made for technical stuff.
c. Do check your thesis first before you ask us to check. Sometimes you can check your own minor mistakes. That way, you'll learn bit by bit.

2. TESL is not easy. I get tired of people jeering at me by saying '4 years and all you learn is English?' I know it's just 'English' but reality people, we are actually learn English, we dissecting English. It's like doctor dissecting bodies to learn. We cut the language into pieces and learn bit and bit of it. From the study of meaningless sound (phonetics) to morphology (collection of phonetics) through pragmatic and syntax and linguistic, every puzzle is explored and studied. It changed the way the see and hear conversation. And plus the educational section, sociology, psychology and everything, it is very tiring and hard indeed. But one good thing about it that is a visual subject. Most of us can make the connection of the theories with our life experience and the reality out there. It helps in TESL if you remember a lot of your time as students.

3. We don't speak English all the time. Well at least, my batch. We love to converse in our mother tongue. In fact, my batch always get reprimanded by our lecturers because they often hear us conducting our discussion and argument at TESL square in Malay. Or at least, we code mixing, we often use Malay as our base and add English words in between lines. For us, is the way to relive the way we used to be. We study, write, reflect and argue in English all the time and outside, it's just nice to not speak in the language.

4. We are not westerners wannabe or I am not westerners wannabe. In fact, studying TESL made me realize how much I love being an Asian. With the wonders of cultures and beliefs and our way of life that can simply accept anything as fate instead or westerners who always thinking of 'WHY ON EARTH THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME!!' Being a proud Asian keeps me balance, physically, mentally and spiritually which is an aspect that most westerners lack. Don't believe me, read their literature! They rarely connect god with their life. But us, we live our lives through our values, beliefs and laws. It gives control and rationality.


Now let's go to the right assumption

1. We are crazy about movies, books, songs and culture. We are in debt with the literature subjects, because it makes us see all those things in different light. We love to study the theme, the issue and what makes all those things tick. What makes it irresistible and what makes it not. Most of us don't mind spending our money in all those things because for us, it's a representation of what went wrong in the world and what can be done to fix it.

2. Not all of us want to be teachers. That is very true to the very core. In fact, most of us have no idea what to do after graduation! Some of us (including me) has been shone the light during practicum but for others, the world is still options. Usually, they tend to work in PR or continue Master.

3. We sometimes use the language to our advantage. Sometimes when we are tired or furious of bad services, we use English to attract the attention. Preferably, we use our best English, it invites intimidation to the other party. It works a lot in fast food, cinema, reservation and also government matter. Try it, it's good...

4. We are bunch of thick headed people. Probably because we get commented all the time, we end up having not to care much what others think, it's just a waste of time. But we do mind some things like but not so much. For me it's ok because most of my friends are not the 'jaga tepi kain' type. That's what makes me so comfortable, we do not pass judgment to each other. Isn't it better this way?

So that's it, some things about me and my friends. All I can say about being a TESL student that it's been a bless. I choose to do TESL instead of working in an American firm and trust me, there's not been a day that I've regretted it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

If...

I hate the word if...because for me it symbolizes regret, cowardice and ungratefulness. But I always wondered if I can relive or have the power to choose in my life...What do I really want? And why? But aside from what I will be written next, I still am grateful for the life I have now, for sure it's not the best but still I consider myself to be lucky and well compared to others...here goes...

If I can choose I want to be born during...
- the age of golden Hollywood era. The period when they made the classics that I love. I love movies and I always wondered what does it felt like to watch the premiere of the great classic like Gone With The Wind, Casablanca, Ben Hur...That time, film is all about the strength of the plot and powerful acting. It's the things that they can afford, they can't have bombastic effects, CGI, blockbuster and such. It's all depend on the script, the direction and the acting. For me, that's good literature. But I do experience great movie premiere in my life. Can't forget The Return of The Kings, The Dark Knight and next week, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, can't wait!!!

If I can change my childhood...
- I should learn to master a good skill. Like dancing, playing guitar and maybe poetry reading. Being young is nice, everything inside you are fresh, your senses are developing and like Malay idiom, melentur buluh biar dari rebung...I always wonder if I do have one talent, it would be such a good outlet and stress release for me if I'm down. Let's say if I can play the guitar, whenever I feel down or bored...I can always find ways for soothe myself, to do something I'm particularly good at...

If I can relive my school time
- Maybe I should study harder...and I should take English literature for my SPM instead of Arabic because I am complete klutz with it. Then I would fall in love with it sooner than I've known. I probably should be more vocal of what I can do. I always known that I have the thirst to prove myself but seeing the school favoring 'The Gods' for everything, I keep my trap shut. It was during university that I finally able to quench my thirst but hell, it's ok...

If I can change my physical appearance
- I would like to be a little taller. I would love to have a little less oily skin so that my pores doesn't explode like mad!!! I wish I have a stomach that never gets hungry so that I can use my money for charity instead of food. But still, I do find myself liking the way I look. I may not be the hottest or the most beautiful but I do think I have great qualities. Like my smile, my ex-students said it's infectious and also, my small thigh. I can fit into slim fit pants without any problem! Of course, bigger boobs doesn't hurt anyone so it's ok for wishing it I guess...

If I can wish anything for my friends...
- I wish them to never change for the rest of my life. I wish Aliaa for always being here for me and can stand my stupidity for the rest of her life. I wish Azrol will be like I always see him, the adorable clueless but empathic to the end. I wish Abg La would stay to be simple as he's always been when we first knew him and Shimi would always hang out with us with his brighter than sun yellow crocs and keep doing the first thing he does everytime he sees us, he would nudge Aliaa's head. But it wasn't fair for them to not change because of I wish it. I'm just a little pieces of their lives and they are free to lead their lives as the way they see it fits. And as a friend, I shall continue to be supportive and happy for whatever they decide to do. But still, I considered myself to be lucky because I have friends that I can proudly pronounce to be friends with me for the rest of my life...

If I can have another job beside teaching...
- I always wish that I can live 5 times...so I can be 5 different persons. I can be a teacher, a writer, a theater director, a restaurant owner and a zoo keeper. I can experience live in 5 different areas and perhaps 5 different cities and 5 different kind of satisfaction. But I know, beggars can't be choosers. We are beggars in this world because it's all just a loan from Allah. So I end up choosing the best out of the 5 options right now, which is teaching. But still, it wouldn't hurt to still trying to do the others, restaurant owner especially...

If I can be experience world events...
- I want to be in the crowd during 31th August 1957, when we declared independence. I want to be in the crowd when they torn off Berlin Wall, I want to be present when our beloved Prophet reciting his last sermon and I want to attend the opening of Rose Theater, the place that Shakespeare used to debut his plays. Lastly, I want to be in crowd when they were shooting the chariot race scene in Ben Hur, I love that scene so much!!!

If I can have all the riches in the world...
- I want to provide my parents a good life. I want to see all the wonders in the world before it perish, the wonders of Giza, The Great Wall, the aurora sky, the Grand Canyon...I make sure that I give to charity and to ensure that every kids deserve proper education. I make sure the orangutan, the whale, the panda and such are repopulated. That's material wise...if I were granted riches in spiritual wise, I want to share it with the ones that I loved so that they will never get hurt and lead their lives with calmness in their lives...

If I can choose the manner I die...
- I will agree with Grissom choice. I don't want to die in a car accident or being kill and such. I think I like to die from a long illness. So that I can set my affairs and said proper goodbyes to the one that I love. If I want to die sudden, I would like to have while doing something noble, like saving someone from burning building or during childbirth...but in whatever manner, I hope I can leave the world with the blessing from my god and my family and friends....

Saturday, July 11, 2009

good teacher...bad teacher

I think I can be considered as a good teacher because:

1. I love teaching (or at least, I love exercising power to younger minds)
2. I love to take a spin on teaching like use many materials and fresh stuff
3. I think I'm pretty knowledgeable, I know that there are mutant lobster which is very rare, I know that hazelnut and Brazilian nut are not nuts but actually seeds, I know that Hannibal Lecter is modeled after several real-life serial killers like Ted Bundy.
4. I'm young and I think I can follow the trend of the youngsters (but duly noted: I may not like it for example the shuffle, the Jonas Bro craze or Edward vampire thingy)
5. I don't mind traveling far to teach. If they want me to escort them to camp by all means yes!!! I can upgrade my camping stuff!! Even better, if I have to escort during class period!!! Ha ha, cut some thing loose once a while!!!
6. I make jokes...enough said

On the other hand, I think I can be a bad teacher because:

1. I am very bad in remembering names and faces.
2. I have a nasty temper
3. I hate to mark homeworks except literature and essay homeworks
4. I hate meetings and get myself to organize
5. I hate office politics
6. I have difficulties to wake up early in the morning

So...am I a good teacher?
Or a bad teacher?

Friday, July 10, 2009

nicology (i used nico because izzatiology sounds dumb)

Share.

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

IF I TAGGED YOU, PLEASE PUT THIS UP ON YOUR PAGE AS A NOTE AND TAG SOME OTHER PEOPLE! (That's mean u, azrol and aliaa!!)

***********FOOD-OLOGY*****
**********

What is your fav salad dressing of your choice?
- thousand island...

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
- domino's

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
- J.CO Oreology...

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
- crunchy thin crust beed pepperoni with a lot of chilli flakes...

What do you like to put on your toast?
- peanut butter, nuttella, blueberry jam

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
- bangi house, we have 3, shah alam house 2...

what color of cell phone do you have?
- classic black

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
- left, got it from my dad

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
- i clipped my nails, i cut my hair, i shave...

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
- my responsibility and I haven't put it down

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
- yep by my headache

************BULLCRAP-OLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
- no, live the day with surprises!!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
- nope but I want to add something different from other name, like Nur Castella Izzati or something

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
- not worth it, that will not cover my one month budget

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
- right one, one

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
- never had it, i'm a good girl, I am

Last person you talked to?
- Yuha, my housemate

Last person you hugged?
- My ex-students

**************FAVORIT-OLOGY****************

Season?
- summer

Holiday?
- The one I can travel

Day of the week?
- None

Month?
- January, my birthday

***********CURRENT-OLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
- my old sanity, my ex-students and someone...

Mood?
- busy...assignments plus AE!!!

What are you listening to?
- Temani aku, sheila on 7

Watching?
- my monitor

Worrying about?
- wonder my the tingling sensation is a real thing...

***************RANDOMO-LOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
- bathroom

What's the last movie you watch?
- Silence of the Lambs, it puts the lotion in the basket (I love that quote...)

Do you smile often?
- I think so

***************QUESTIONS*****************

1)Do you always answer your phone?
- no, I always away when it rings but when I'm around it never rings

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
- Use to have someone does that

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
- I'm wearing colored lenses, it's misty grey and it makes my eyes to have an indescribable color, perhaps you can tell me what color is it

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
- WTH is Sonic?

5) Do you own a digital camera?
- nope, I have a curse with digital things, keep them away from me

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
- yes, once I got a kaloi that we've kept from a tiny winy and it changed to a big fat thing

7) Favorite Christmas song?
- hmm...the one by Mariah Carey

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
- Just to know that something good is gonna happen to me and happiness to all my family and friends...material wise - a holiday package!!!

9) Can you do push ups?
- yep, I need to do it now and then, I'm getting fat!!!

10) Can you do a chin up?
- never try, I should, it's good for cardio

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
- both but I'm ready for it

12) Do you have any saved texts?
- yep, mostly sweet messages from my friends that remind me that I'm not alone

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
- yes

14) Do you have an accent?
- I can pretend I have

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
- menghitung hari, kris dayanti...truthfully everytime I play it I end up in tears

16) Plans tonight?
- AE, chap 2 dammit!!!

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
- lots of times...and I managed to climb the cliff up back again...so toss me down for all I care because I got magic claws

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
- my colored lenses, scarf and food

19) Have you ever been given roses?
- yes, during convocation

20) Current worry?
- can I grad by the end of this year? please tell me whether I'm feeling is real???

21) Current hate right now?
- abolishing the PPSMI and making other subjects to pay to add English hours. The beauty about language is we can always incorporate it with other subjects. Why separate and makes the other subjects pay???

22) Met someone who changed your life?
- my friends, my ex-students, my exes...

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
- hoping that it will not be a crappy year

24) What song represents you?
- hmm...I think Tiada lagi tangisan, I miss the moment of singing it in Aliaa's car. Life is so easy back then...

25) Name three people who might complete this?
- I have no idea!!!

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
- sleep

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
- dah azan suboh ke???

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Last semester...

Coming back to classes this semester bring double meaning to me. Number one, I've missed going to class last semester due to practicum and number two, this is supposedly my last semester, providing if I am not doing any mistakes that can cost me a fortune.

This feeling of graduating is completely different from what I've felt when I did my diploma. Maybe because it is signifying the real ending of my studying years which is something that I've been doing since I was 5 or 6 years old. I'm not saying that I will not step back into studying but perhaps it will not be immidiately after this. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. I'm more incline to feel both actually. I yearn to gat control in my life after this but at the same time, the price of freedom is overwhelming.

Still, I feel that I am a lucky person to have such a wonderful time especially during my study duration in UiTM. Of course it was smeared with pretty bad incidents like fights, slanders and bad romances but all in all, it made me who I am today. A person that is able to stand in front of the mirror and likes what she sees in herself. (Although, she does hope for her blemishes to vanish but she's trying). But nevertheless, I am proud of being me today can hope for a better me can still emerge from this.

Even though it's the final semester, I am not counting for my adventures in the world of deadline and assignments to be over. I think there's still few adventures left to do like graduation party, the very last paper of final exams, Academic Exercise fiasco and who knows perhaps, a chance of a new romance...?

(P/S: I'm writing this blog during my CALL (Computer Assisted Language Learning) class. The lab is freaking cold and I am freaking bored...

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Parent's day celebration: honoring moms and dads on screen (Part 1)

I'm a lousy daughter. I never really get good grades, lousy at sports, rarely do the kitchen work and plus haven't settle off with any guys so that they can take their hands off me. Needless to say, I love my mom to death and even if I rarely said it, I do. And in conjunctions of parents day, I decided to celebrate in the way that I love...combining researching, racking my memory and reflect on all those movies I've seen...And the result: my favorite top 5 mom's and dad's characters on screen...Well to top them all is of course my mom and dad, but screw you, you don't know my mom and dad so I'm putting in moms and dads. that we've seen in the cinema. Ladies first, so let's start with the moms first.


5. Sarah Connor

We've seen her in: Terminator's franchise, she does not appeared in the 3rd and 4th installment, nevertheless, she's still important as the voice of consciousness to her son, John Connor.

Reason: We've seen her as the fragile, damsel-in-distress woman in the first movie. After having John, she transformed herself to one muscle woman and does everything to protect John Connor. Even having to rely on the face that bring her nightmares, her devotion to keep John saved under any circumstances is truly amazing. She blew up things to keep his son alive, what you called that beside maternal love?

What we can learn from her: A mother's love is beyond boundaries. Sarah Connor paid tribute to all the single mothers who would give anything to their children. And plus, she's an inspiration that we all can return back to our fabulous figure after having a child.

4. Lynette Scavo

We've seen her in: The TV show Desperate Housewives. The 'smart and slick one', wife of Tom Scavo, mother of four children, one Tom's illegitimate child and on her way to have another set of twins.

Reason: From a high-career power woman, she's willing to hug her briefcase and took an apron instead. And having a highly unstable, slight immature husband with 3 delinquent boys, she makes it through the day, one problem after another. Of course she got the perks of being bossy and slightly domineering but having to confront her highly dysfunctional family, can you blame her for that? And plus, she's a cancer survivor, talks about superwoman...

What we can learn from her: Lynette Scavo is a symbol for a woman who just won't give in to situation. She's the rock of her family and a prove that a woman is capable to face any obstacles in life, no matter how bad it can be. And she's also a symbol of woman who isn't shame to talk about her problem for example: she stressed that woman should talk about the household stress to each other rather than keeping it lock, it reminds us that there are women like us and there's nothing wrong with sometimes losing control in house because woman are humans too...



3. Bellemere

We've seen her in: The top-selling manga and anime series One Piece. Mother of Nami and Nojiko, she protects her daughters' lives by choosing their lives over hers. Despite her sacrifices, her youngest daughter, Nami is still being held captive by Arlong pirate until she is saved by the Strawhats Pirates.

Reason: There's no greater sacrifices than your lives to your children. And Bellmere did it without questioning herself and without twitching an inch to revise the decision. Plus point, Bellmere, Nami and Nojiko are not even blood related. Sometimes, blood isn't the factor to bring the maternal instinct in you.

What we can learn from her: She's the tribute to all the singles mother as well, the one that always hold their daughters' hand and tell them and everything is always turns out well. Plus, she's also a symbol of a woman who never let anyone decides for her, she steers her life through her course and it reflected in both Nami and Nojiko. Nami is doing well in her course to draw the world map (although now she seems to stuck at Witheria island) and Nojiko continues the mikan business and acting as the daughter of Ganzo. One of her most memorable advice: Don't ever be sorry to be alive, because as long as your alive there will be better things later. Makes me believe that there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

2.Molly Weasley

We've seen her in: The Harry Potter series, mother of Harry's best friend Ron. Later become his mother-in-law when he married Molly's only daughter Ginny Weasley. Other than Ron and Ginny, she also has 5 boys and live in The Burrow, an old house with husband Arthur Weasley, an underpaid work man.

Reason: When you heard about a mother who successfully raised 7 children with limited income, you gotta hand it to her, she's a tough mama. Of course, she kinda cheated in her own ways by using magic here and there but then, it's a fiction what do you expect? But magic or not, all her seven children turn out to be unexpectedly well despite the financial problem. Sociology 101: children lives in better area and constantly suffices fixed income will likely to be more successful. Molly doesn't have both of the factor but through her care, she managed to defy the odds. In her record she produces, two Head Boys, five star Quidditch players and 7 heroic member of The Order of the Phoenix member. Plus, she does a good job in the order by finishing off Bellatrix Lestranges as an act of protecting every mothers who fear for the loss the their children to evil.

What we can learn from her: Molly is an example of an ordinary mother, whom always being forgotten to exist in the society sometimes even in her own family but in reality she's the mother of all mothers. The unsung hero, in other words. It reminds us to look back to our own mother, whom are after all, ordinary people, ordinary citizen but actually worth a lot more than everything in the world.

1. Helen Parr a.k.a Elastigirl

We've seen her in: The Incredible, the wife of Robert Parr, Mr Incredibles and the mother of Violet, Dash and Jack Jack. She has a highly elastic body that kinda remind me of Luffy in One Piece.

Reason: Helen is the coolest mom that you can imagine!!! She can be a parachute, a boat, truly handy in life saving situation. And she's the rock that holds the family together. She remains true to her family at times when superheroes are asked to be fit in unlike her husband. She prioritizes her children over her family matter when she chooses to hung the argument with her husband after she knows that her children are worried. She remained steady and calm even her lives and her children lives are in danger and plus she's the mom who really can kick ass when you asked for it.

What we can learn from her: She's the ultimate mother, the one that never gives up to make her family better. She's caring, devoted and plus she gives great advices. We all need a lot of her to be good mom. Personally, she is the character that I loved most in the movie and one of the best example that Disney could ever produced...

Coming up: Part 2 focusing on the dads...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Of apple pies and cherry pies...

We lived by numbers. I don't know who the hell that invented the arbitrary symbol resembling number because whomever he or she was, it caused me a hell during my period of learning mathematics and try my best to make sense of it. But I've come to terms that numbers are important in our lives. It makes sense of when is our birthdays, how much a thing cost, how many children you're planning and many others. And out of the system of digits, arises bunch of other things that potentially lethal for me like geometry, vector, quadratic and others. And oh one of them, probability...wow, such hard times...

Speaking broadly about probability, it's always down to two or three options (i'm not a genius, don't bother to correct me) which are yes, no and maybe. I like the yes and no odds, because it's definitive and it doesn't take a genius to understand.

Put it yes or no together, we can make out two groups, which are the majority and the minority. Ironically in my life, I tend to be in the minority group. For example, I spent my teenagers years wearing braces that eventually does nothing, went to a religious school, getting to B.ED TESL after finishing my diploma and trust me, if you do a research, I will enter the minority group and by all means, I'm fine with it. But I also belong to another minority group, out of all people who tend to end up with apple pie, I recently found a cherry pie and I fell in love with it. And seemly, I raised several question of why I'm choosing cherry pie instead of apple pie. For others, apple pie is obviously the easier choice, it's ready-made, less hassle and everyone seems to have adjusted by it. But that's the thing, I wasn't looking for an easier choice, I was looking for the right choice and the truth is I've fell in love with the cherry pie and I'm sticking by it.

I've found out that there are two types of reason of uncertainty of my choice. The external uncertainty and the internal uncertainty. Ironically (typical), my biggest fear comes from the internal uncertainty but most problems now comes from the external uncertainty. The external comes from people who kept asking me 'Why put yourself into trouble?' 'Why don't you stick to the apple pie?' and the list of question can go on and on...tell you the truth, I'm not even sure myself. I'm not denying the fact that apple pies are delicious and I'm had tried it before but sadly, it's not my flavor. And I'm not even sure if cherry pie is really the right flavor for me, but honestly I like to know the answer myself and having others decided for me.The best way to deal with this is to ignore and not to listen but sadly it's a slim chance. Sadly, most of the people who raised questions are people that I can never abandon under any circumstances. They are scrutinizing my life down to every dirt but I owe a lifetime debt to them. And sadly, I have to face the probability that this problem will never end forever. New people will come, new question will be raised and new answers need to be prepared.

My internal uncertainty are mostly issues that I have to deal with to make adjustment. How am I going to accommodate the cherry pie in my life? What are the chances of successfully mixing the apple pies and the cherry pies in my picnic basket? Will I not get bored with it and how to make sure the pie will never be rotten? To handle it, I'm not even sure myself but I know there's always a way.

For now, against many wills, I'm still sticking out for my cherry pie. Sometimes I do wonder, is it because I really love it or is it just the normal reaction of my rebellious and stubborn character, the drive that compel me to prove that I'm right and I'm different. But then I realized whenever I took a whiff of the cherry pie, it took me back at the moment when it captures me and mesmerizes me and that's what make this choice is a worth cause to fight on. I'm not sure whether I can make it but hell yeah, I will not be taken down easily..

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Something are better left unsaid....

Being a serial guest at weddings, I noticed some usual pattern that people tend to do. Wedding reception do exist to celebrate happiness but I do believe it also invite a feeling of annoyance, resentment and even bitter acceptance of the cold hard truth. And the perfect ways of inviting the excruciating pain feeling is when some people made out questions and statements that are better left unsaid. Here are some that I noted and the one I resent

1. Question: Bila ko nak kawin plak? - for the singles
Dah kawin ni, xnak anak ke? - for the married
Dah ada sorang, bila nak tambah lagi? - for the married with 1 kid

Why I personally hate it? Number one: it's a personal choice. By right, a person can choose to marry whenever he or she wants. Number two: Nothing is going to affect the one who's asking if he or she is getting married or not so why bother asking? Number three: subconsciously we may hurt the one we asked. Maybe he or she just broken off engagement or found out that they are having problem with conceiving. But I'm not ruling that the question is out of bound. It can be asked of course, but by closest friends or family and it should not be followed by sub question such as la lambatnyer lagi, apasal lama sgt...

2. Statement: Cepat2 la kawin, nanti melepas, seronok kawin ni tau...

reason for hating it: It's irrational to ask someone to get married quickly when he or she knows for him or herself that they are in no fit state to get married. No 1 issue, when someone urge it, please think of another question: with whom should this person married? Marriage is not an issue of going to shopping malls, pick up the goodies and come home. It's an arrangement when there is no warranty, no return, no rebate and no satisfaction guaranteed. What you have is what you have for life. Another reason is just because marriage seems to work for everybody does not mean it's working for everybody. Put it this way, milk is good for your health but deadly for those whom are lactose intolerant or have milk allergies. Just because it is good that does not mean it applies to everybody. Still I'm not denying that married people is definitely happier but once again, it's personal choice.

3. Statement: Ko ni jgn memilih sgt nanti susah...

Reason for hating it: Ok, do you know me from Adam???? How on earth can you determine that I'm a choosy person based solely on the fact that I'm coming to a wedding with friends not spouses? This is again, personal choice, and plus what is wrong with screening process? Like I said, marriage is for life. And most of my friends whom are single, I found out that they don't have a tight screening process is just: a) they haven't met the right person b) they met the one but he/she just wasn't meant to be c) they are focusing in other aspects of life or d) they are happy just the way they are. So why can't you just let them be?

This is the last statement and by far the one I hated and resent the most...

Statement: Ko ni jangan melebih2 sangat nanti xde laki berani nak dekat ngan ko...

Reason: If a man said this, the only fit statement worth to replied is 'That's your problem, not our problem'. Please people, we are not cavemen anymore...women deserve to get to the top just like man does and women have the right to have successful career just like men shooting for. Just because we are genetically engineered to get our hands dirty in kitchen and in diapers, that does not deny the right for women to get their hands dirty in the office as well. And what's better for personal growth if not competition? So men, of you're saying something like this, are you afraid of competition? Plus, afraid of the contestant of a 'weaker sex'? I am not being feminist nor condemning the XX population, it's just it's really getting on my nerve when I heard such cavemen statement.

If a woman said this, the only thing that I can think of is 'please don't do injustice to your mother, your friends and plus to yourself'. By saying that, you limited yourself to what you can achieve and blind for what you actually can achieve. Just like Barrack Obama said, there's two type of worlds: the world as it is and the world as it should have been. When you said that, you're accepting the world as it is and you conform to what others conform you not by what you want to. But if you can see the world as what it should have been, you can see change. That women can have both marriage and career as priority and plus other dreams that can expand beyond your imagination. And plus, career moms bring more income to household lead to better living condition. I'm not saying that women should disregard marriage but for me marriage should not be THE ONLY priority...

So there you have it, the things that I resent to hear and to be questioned during weddings. Let just hope that people do get some common sense and avoid these...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

One half done, another half to go...

Time flies when one does have fun and it's true. I am truly astonished to find out that half of the year 2009 is already gone. But this half year that I spent is worth hundreds years of experience in my life. And it's all happen for one thing. And to be honest, the journey started way back, years ago. It started on the day when a bunch of us stood up against 200 UiTM freshman students during our very first meeting of PBSMM Chapter UiTM. The bunch of us, Skuad Khas group or maybe the outsiders may call 'show-off' or 'kiss ass' group volunteered to do extra for our co-curricular subjects. Some of us even went further like me and my other friends whom I proudly considered as my best friends, my brothers and sisters and we become the AJKD. One of the task that we had to do back then was teaching basic first aid. If I think back, that memory of teaching it had stemmed my passion for teaching and imparting not my wisdom, but at least a bit of knowledge that I've gained within the four walls of classrooms as well as outside it.


In 2003-2004 circa, I gained the passion for teaching. And this year in 2009, I gained my temporary license, a 3 month-training in SMK TTDI Jaya. I am not going to elaborate about my experience over there but if I can summed it in one word it would be difficult. But if you ask me if it's ok to feel it, I would say yes because it's a good difficult experience for me.

Being raised in a family of high achievers, it is shame for me to say that me end up being a teacher is not on par with the hall of fame of our family. But after practicum, the view changed profoundly and I also think that it is necessary for the society to change their view about teaching profession. From the way I see it, it seems like everybody talks like they can be a teacher. Even worse, there are someone that had the nerve to say "since I can't get a decent job after I graduate, might as well I be a teacher". But frankly speaking and I quoted from my lecturer, "A teacher is not made, it is born". Unless you have a real passion for it, don't even thinking of putting up a clean shirt every morning, pin your name tag carefully and drive 10km/hour entering the school gate. Because teaching is not a job, is a responsibility. And it is a responsibility not to be taken lightly. And from the way I see it also, a teacher's job is often being compared to a doctor's job which is what the call the noble profession. And sincerely speaking, a med student is likely to be seen as the successful one compare to education student. I am not going to judge them. I do think doctor's job is a noble job and not everyone can be a doctor like teacher but believe me when I said this, next to mother, a teacher is the noblest job that you can ever be. While doctor struggle to take care of a human life, a teacher struggles to take care a human soul. And what a fragile soul we have. Once dead, it's almost impossible to revive it back. Put it simply which one you rather have, a dead son or an alive son who's dead inside? For me, I would choose the first one.

Human when they die, we did what god asks us to do. For us it's four steps: bathe it, cover it, perform the prayer and bury it. But if a soul dies, what can we do? Where do we find the pieces when it can't be seen? Plus, is it even a whole before it was broken? That's what a teacher puts up everyday, they take care of it. And one mistake can damage it. And particularly for me who opted to be an English teacher. I'm teaching them on how to communicate, to make connection, to reach understanding to one another and in deep, to enable one person to pour out his or her soul to another person to be understood. It's difficult and sometimes unbearable and it's not even surprising how many of teacher end up killing their own souls in the end. But there is one thing that enable me to get through it. It is when one of them looked up to me and call me 'teacher'. To earn the name is a great honor and it's signaling something. It's signalized as someone look upon us a an example, as someone that always do the right thing and as someone who he or she can look back and reflect.

If you're reading this and feel like I'm exaggerating, feel free to do so. I'm not writing this to be judged, nor to be admired. But I do have one request, after reading this please hailed your drinks if you have but if you don't hailed up anything you have (but if you're working right now or in a public place please don't hail your skirt or something resembling it because that would be a crime) and celebrate if you're one of these two:

a) if you are also a teacher, hail yourself and the others and say your grace to the Almighty for choosing you to enter this wonderful teacher.
b) if you're not a teacher, hail the teachers that you owed for making you to become the wonderful person you are now...

Now I have another semester to go and I hope I can get a real license to teach after graduating...AMIN...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Accidents can happen...be careful!!!!

OMG!!! My house mate just got robbed in front of our house. Thank god she screamed and scared the '15 minutes in thieving profession' guy away!!! She's fine, not hurt physically only a bit shock...so let's remind each other for our safety...

1. if you can, don't come home too late. if you have to, have someone to accompany you or to watch over you until you save inside the house.
2. try to look around and always trust your gut feeling...if something is wrong, be extra careful
3. remember face, dress, gesture or anything that is noticeable, it can help you to recognize them if they got busted.
4. i know it's quite expensive, but buy pepper spray for protection and remember the position of the nozzle is facing the bad guy not you.
5. when you scream, don't just scream help!! add details like help, robbers!! or snatchers!! so the others can make differences whether is real or are you the boy who cried wolf.
6. pray a lot and remember to selawat (for Muslim) every time you go out.

let's make our community a better place...keep yourself safe...keep each other safe...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Azrol!!! I tagged you in here!!!

since you don't have a faceboook account or you have one but you didn't tell me...so I tagged you to play this game here!!!! looking forward to see your reply at your....(you know where la kan...?) When you reply leave a comment here so that I can check you out...

: Here's my "20 things" list. If I tagged you, you are supposed to write a note with 20 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I wish people to stop asking me to settle down and find someone because I'm fine the way I am...It's not that I tolak jodoh...but I believe when if it's meant to be, it will sooner or much....much...later...!!

2. Loving the UiTM pool despite sometimes I have to share it with 68 people at the time!!! wish I can learn to float again so I'll be able to swim at the deeper side so I can swim without hitting someone ass again...

3. Totally believe that anime, manga, cartoon, tv and movies can be educational if only people look deeper and find a lot to learn in those things. For example, learn Naruto's determination, Luffy's friendship bonds and Ichigo's brotherly love...

4. Understand why Kotaro Minami cannot be with Kyoko due to the fact he kills Kyoko's brother, but why he settles down with a bimbo in Kamen Rider Black RX? For god sake, find someone better!!! The girlfriend in Kamen Rider Black RX is irritating, freaking annoying and the thing I hate most, always act like a damsel in distress!!! OMG, you seem to depend on Kotaro to solve every single damn problem in your life....!

5. Wishing for Malaysian movies to improve and hope for the DVD stores in Malaysia can sell better movies because I'm looking for a lot of good movies but can't seem to find one!!!

6. Understand why teachers can end up in asylum and I'm proud to say that I'm a realistic teacher, not an idealistic one...

7. Someday to open my own non-alcoholic (of course!) sports bar named 'F1 Heroes' and making it the best sports bar ever!!!

8. Want to go watch a Broadway someday, watching either Lion King the Musical or maybe Sweeney Todd the musical...who cares if people say musical sucks??? I totally love musical!!!!

9.Although a realistic teacher, totally believe that education is vital for everyone. And always believe that no matter how poor you are, do not resort to stop your children from studying or going to school!!!

10. Addicted to J.CO Oreology and can eat a whole bunch of them everyday!! Thank goodness J.CO is an Indonesian company so no question of banning it because of Israel, Hamas or whatsoever...Plus, the cashier named Restu at J.CO is a one adorable guy so plus one more reason to go there!!!

11. Support Kate Winslet for Oscar this year because she deserves to win one! She is one of the best actress that I've seen and she is looking hotter every single minute!!!

12. Happy that last year she finally crosses over 45 kg!!! Ha ha, happy and happy!!!

13. I want to visit her abg long for two reasons...one, I want to see my newborn nephew, Fahry Faiz and second, I want to borrow Kamen Rider Black RX, One Piece so that I can burn the DVD and keep them in my collection...

14. Feeling sorry that she repeatedly forgot to bring back Yamada Taro DVD to her sister...25 and nyanyuk already...that is pathetic...

15. Can't wait to coach drama at school next week, although she is not a very good actress, she knows she can teach with the knowledge that she obtained...anyway, those who can't do, teach, right?

16. Still figure out why the hell that I am writing this...? The best explanation is to kill time until bleach is fully uploaded...

17. Thinking if she can be one hot lady, the choice will be Nico Robin from One Piece!!! From her long black hair to her brain...she is simply irresistible!!! I totally love hot girls who can think and who can take care of themselves...!

18. If she can date manga or anime characters, she wants to date Roronoa Zoro (One Piece), Kurosaki Ichigo (Bleach), Hyuuga Neji (Naruto), Hisashi Mitsui (Slam Dunk) and Rob Lucci (One Piece)!!!! Don't ask her why...oh and another one Shadow Moon from Kamen Rider Black!!!

19. Is a supporter of Ichigo and Orihime will be together at last!!! although I think that Ichigo will be with Rukia in the end...it's not that I don't like Rukia, she's my second favorite female character after Nico Robin but it's just I feel for Orihime a lot and I do believe that she really loves Ichigo with all her heart!!! and what's not to like about her? except for her clumsiness and simplicity, she's kind, understanding and hot!!!

20. Thinking what should I put in here!!! I know, I've written a lot of crap in here and I don't care, it's my notes anyway!!!! Lastly, she supports Massa and Rosberg for this year F1 season!!!!!


p/s: sebab aliaa ada facebook i already tagged her kat sana! so jgn ingat you sorang je yang kena tau!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Gaza attack...this is too much

The Star reported today that the Israel had launched more than 700 attacks on Gaza since last week and the attacks had claimed at least 435 Palestinians. What's more cruel about these attacks is America had given her 'consent' over all these attacks, stating that Israel is give permission to attack Palestine since they refused to bow to them (this is my own words). What do I feel about these attacks...There no other way to say it but DAMN YOU GUYS!!! THIS IS TOTAL INSANE AND MADNESS!!!!

The dispute between Palestine and Israel has begun since before I was born and it seems never ending. But this is a dispute over the Holy land and what angered me most that what American had to do anything with it? Did they own the land in the first place? No. Did they being officially elected as 'The Justice' of the World? They think they are, but I don't think so. So what on earth that they had given 'consent' to permit Israel to attack Palestine? This is total madness.

The future appointed president Obama had refused to say anything about it saying that let one president speaks at one time. But being a realistic person, I don't think much changes are going to happen even when Obama is elected president. With the current economic downfall around the world and now particularly hitting America badly, Obama must taken his step cautiously not to offend the Israel because the Jews hold the strongest economic power in the US. One mistake, the Jews say bye-bye birdie and Obama will be remembered as the one who bankrupted US officially altough actually it is Bush's wrongdoings in the first place but Obama is in the hot seat so the blames go to him. (I am neither economic expert not politics expert, this is merely my opinion)

Personally, I feel upset over Obama's refusal to comment but at least I do see some light over this. True, Obama did not say a word but the world has. Reuters reported that Britain, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, the Netherlands, Spain and Turkey have campaigned and protested over the attacks. The Arabs community have also raised their voices in Kuwait. Most of the protesters waived their shoes symbolized Bush shoe's attack and waving banner STOP THE MASSACRE. Even in New York, some hundreds also protested the attacks. Believe me, if I don't have any obligation towards the Educational Act, I would have march and protested as well.

But even if I cannot march on the streets and protest, does not mean that I cannot do anything about it. One thing I did is writing this entry to tell anyone to read this to support the protest. So please, I urge anyone who read this to protest the attacks. If there any petition protest, please sign your name. If there is any official and acknowledged funds asking for money contribution, please donate if you have the money. If you have any friendster or facebook account, you can raise your voice in your shoutout and status. If all of these are too much for you, at least you can do is pray for the safety of the Palestinians and pray for Allah or your God to show a way to end this madness. The world may not know of what you have done, to help them but that does not mean that you should not help them... so please, support peace, support love and support unity...

Friday, January 2, 2009

I thank god for 2008 for....

I thank god for 2008 for:

1. I was able to have my very first real birthday party and invited my friends to my house.
2. I journeyed from north to south and east and west and keeping good memories from each trip.
3. I saw both my brothers got married and happy and one of them is on his to become a father.
4. I finally pass 45kg and can maintain the weight over 45kg.
5. I can understand literature piece much better than 2007
6. I finally got a DL in my final exam result.
7. I finally learn that I can love again, even though I might get hurt over and over again.
8. I got to watch many good movies like Dark Knight, 3:10 to Yuma, Nanking and many others.
9. I've become a part of KARiSMA and SUA and known many of the UiTM's youngsters.

and finally:

10. For anything that I've might have missed out, forgotten or left out unintentionally and for every minute and second Allah permit me to breathe on the earth...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

movie review: Bedtime Stories. Warning: spoilers alert!!!

Bedtime Stories tells us a story of Skeeter (played by Adam Sandler) who has his life turn around after he meets with his nephew and niece. After he tells them the some bedtime stories, the stories begins to materialized in his life causing him to lead and determine the course of his life through the outcome of the bedtime stories. Using the children's imagination, he leads them to told the stories that favorable to him but in the end he manages to pass beyond the needs of depending of those children and creates his life according his own 'bedtime stories'. In my opinion, Bedtime Stories is the right story to bring enjoyment to your family as the story line clearly target towards the family entertainment (although some of the comedy has some vigorous language content) but to compare Bedtime Stories to its predecessor; Enchanted, Bedtime Stories fails to captivate the magic as Enchanted did.

First, let's talk about the casting. Sandler as Skeeter neither shines nor fade in his performance but I don't think that it matter much because the audience will put their center on the children performer as well as the pet Bugsy. (I spent 20 minutes in the movie to figure out whether he's real or not). The children are quite a delightful performer but if their characterization can be explored to more feelings and mood, I would be delighted to see how they perform. Because I can see them play the fun part but I cannot determine whether they are able to play other emotions. Seeing Russell to act is always a delight and also Cox but again, I feel their parts are rather being undermine due to the plot reliance towards the children and Sandler. But then again, it doesn't matter much because they are our central focus of the story.

Concerning Disney movies, one thing is absolutely certain, it will contain a happy ending and it does in Bedtime Stories. So if I want to comment on the plot there's only one word to describe it: predictable.

For those who want to watch it, do not feel that the movie is crap because it does not. It is fun to watch and if you want use the movie to relax and laid your head to rest, it is the right movie for you. But if you asked me if I want to watch the movie for the second time as I did when Enchanted is shown, I will say no.