Parent's day celebration: honoring moms and dads on screen (Part 1)

I'm a lousy daughter. I never really get good grades, lousy at sports, rarely do the kitchen work and plus haven't settle off with any guys so that they can take their hands off me. Needless to say, I love my mom to death and even if I rarely said it, I do. And in conjunctions of parents day, I decided to celebrate in the way that I love...combining researching, racking my memory and reflect on all those movies I've seen...And the result: my favorite top 5 mom's and dad's characters on screen...Well to top them all is of course my mom and dad, but screw you, you don't know my mom and dad so I'm putting in moms and dads. that we've seen in the cinema. Ladies first, so let's start with the moms first.


5. Sarah Connor

We've seen her in: Terminator's franchise, she does not appeared in the 3rd and 4th installment, nevertheless, she's still important as the voice of consciousness to her son, John Connor.

Reason: We've seen her as the fragile, damsel-in-distress woman in the first movie. After having John, she transformed herself to one muscle woman and does everything to protect John Connor. Even having to rely on the face that bring her nightmares, her devotion to keep John saved under any circumstances is truly amazing. She blew up things to keep his son alive, what you called that beside maternal love?

What we can learn from her: A mother's love is beyond boundaries. Sarah Connor paid tribute to all the single mothers who would give anything to their children. And plus, she's an inspiration that we all can return back to our fabulous figure after having a child.

4. Lynette Scavo

We've seen her in: The TV show Desperate Housewives. The 'smart and slick one', wife of Tom Scavo, mother of four children, one Tom's illegitimate child and on her way to have another set of twins.

Reason: From a high-career power woman, she's willing to hug her briefcase and took an apron instead. And having a highly unstable, slight immature husband with 3 delinquent boys, she makes it through the day, one problem after another. Of course she got the perks of being bossy and slightly domineering but having to confront her highly dysfunctional family, can you blame her for that? And plus, she's a cancer survivor, talks about superwoman...

What we can learn from her: Lynette Scavo is a symbol for a woman who just won't give in to situation. She's the rock of her family and a prove that a woman is capable to face any obstacles in life, no matter how bad it can be. And she's also a symbol of woman who isn't shame to talk about her problem for example: she stressed that woman should talk about the household stress to each other rather than keeping it lock, it reminds us that there are women like us and there's nothing wrong with sometimes losing control in house because woman are humans too...



3. Bellemere

We've seen her in: The top-selling manga and anime series One Piece. Mother of Nami and Nojiko, she protects her daughters' lives by choosing their lives over hers. Despite her sacrifices, her youngest daughter, Nami is still being held captive by Arlong pirate until she is saved by the Strawhats Pirates.

Reason: There's no greater sacrifices than your lives to your children. And Bellmere did it without questioning herself and without twitching an inch to revise the decision. Plus point, Bellmere, Nami and Nojiko are not even blood related. Sometimes, blood isn't the factor to bring the maternal instinct in you.

What we can learn from her: She's the tribute to all the singles mother as well, the one that always hold their daughters' hand and tell them and everything is always turns out well. Plus, she's also a symbol of a woman who never let anyone decides for her, she steers her life through her course and it reflected in both Nami and Nojiko. Nami is doing well in her course to draw the world map (although now she seems to stuck at Witheria island) and Nojiko continues the mikan business and acting as the daughter of Ganzo. One of her most memorable advice: Don't ever be sorry to be alive, because as long as your alive there will be better things later. Makes me believe that there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

2.Molly Weasley

We've seen her in: The Harry Potter series, mother of Harry's best friend Ron. Later become his mother-in-law when he married Molly's only daughter Ginny Weasley. Other than Ron and Ginny, she also has 5 boys and live in The Burrow, an old house with husband Arthur Weasley, an underpaid work man.

Reason: When you heard about a mother who successfully raised 7 children with limited income, you gotta hand it to her, she's a tough mama. Of course, she kinda cheated in her own ways by using magic here and there but then, it's a fiction what do you expect? But magic or not, all her seven children turn out to be unexpectedly well despite the financial problem. Sociology 101: children lives in better area and constantly suffices fixed income will likely to be more successful. Molly doesn't have both of the factor but through her care, she managed to defy the odds. In her record she produces, two Head Boys, five star Quidditch players and 7 heroic member of The Order of the Phoenix member. Plus, she does a good job in the order by finishing off Bellatrix Lestranges as an act of protecting every mothers who fear for the loss the their children to evil.

What we can learn from her: Molly is an example of an ordinary mother, whom always being forgotten to exist in the society sometimes even in her own family but in reality she's the mother of all mothers. The unsung hero, in other words. It reminds us to look back to our own mother, whom are after all, ordinary people, ordinary citizen but actually worth a lot more than everything in the world.

1. Helen Parr a.k.a Elastigirl

We've seen her in: The Incredible, the wife of Robert Parr, Mr Incredibles and the mother of Violet, Dash and Jack Jack. She has a highly elastic body that kinda remind me of Luffy in One Piece.

Reason: Helen is the coolest mom that you can imagine!!! She can be a parachute, a boat, truly handy in life saving situation. And she's the rock that holds the family together. She remains true to her family at times when superheroes are asked to be fit in unlike her husband. She prioritizes her children over her family matter when she chooses to hung the argument with her husband after she knows that her children are worried. She remained steady and calm even her lives and her children lives are in danger and plus she's the mom who really can kick ass when you asked for it.

What we can learn from her: She's the ultimate mother, the one that never gives up to make her family better. She's caring, devoted and plus she gives great advices. We all need a lot of her to be good mom. Personally, she is the character that I loved most in the movie and one of the best example that Disney could ever produced...

Coming up: Part 2 focusing on the dads...

Of apple pies and cherry pies...

We lived by numbers. I don't know who the hell that invented the arbitrary symbol resembling number because whomever he or she was, it caused me a hell during my period of learning mathematics and try my best to make sense of it. But I've come to terms that numbers are important in our lives. It makes sense of when is our birthdays, how much a thing cost, how many children you're planning and many others. And out of the system of digits, arises bunch of other things that potentially lethal for me like geometry, vector, quadratic and others. And oh one of them, probability...wow, such hard times...

Speaking broadly about probability, it's always down to two or three options (i'm not a genius, don't bother to correct me) which are yes, no and maybe. I like the yes and no odds, because it's definitive and it doesn't take a genius to understand.

Put it yes or no together, we can make out two groups, which are the majority and the minority. Ironically in my life, I tend to be in the minority group. For example, I spent my teenagers years wearing braces that eventually does nothing, went to a religious school, getting to B.ED TESL after finishing my diploma and trust me, if you do a research, I will enter the minority group and by all means, I'm fine with it. But I also belong to another minority group, out of all people who tend to end up with apple pie, I recently found a cherry pie and I fell in love with it. And seemly, I raised several question of why I'm choosing cherry pie instead of apple pie. For others, apple pie is obviously the easier choice, it's ready-made, less hassle and everyone seems to have adjusted by it. But that's the thing, I wasn't looking for an easier choice, I was looking for the right choice and the truth is I've fell in love with the cherry pie and I'm sticking by it.

I've found out that there are two types of reason of uncertainty of my choice. The external uncertainty and the internal uncertainty. Ironically (typical), my biggest fear comes from the internal uncertainty but most problems now comes from the external uncertainty. The external comes from people who kept asking me 'Why put yourself into trouble?' 'Why don't you stick to the apple pie?' and the list of question can go on and on...tell you the truth, I'm not even sure myself. I'm not denying the fact that apple pies are delicious and I'm had tried it before but sadly, it's not my flavor. And I'm not even sure if cherry pie is really the right flavor for me, but honestly I like to know the answer myself and having others decided for me.The best way to deal with this is to ignore and not to listen but sadly it's a slim chance. Sadly, most of the people who raised questions are people that I can never abandon under any circumstances. They are scrutinizing my life down to every dirt but I owe a lifetime debt to them. And sadly, I have to face the probability that this problem will never end forever. New people will come, new question will be raised and new answers need to be prepared.

My internal uncertainty are mostly issues that I have to deal with to make adjustment. How am I going to accommodate the cherry pie in my life? What are the chances of successfully mixing the apple pies and the cherry pies in my picnic basket? Will I not get bored with it and how to make sure the pie will never be rotten? To handle it, I'm not even sure myself but I know there's always a way.

For now, against many wills, I'm still sticking out for my cherry pie. Sometimes I do wonder, is it because I really love it or is it just the normal reaction of my rebellious and stubborn character, the drive that compel me to prove that I'm right and I'm different. But then I realized whenever I took a whiff of the cherry pie, it took me back at the moment when it captures me and mesmerizes me and that's what make this choice is a worth cause to fight on. I'm not sure whether I can make it but hell yeah, I will not be taken down easily..

Something are better left unsaid....

Being a serial guest at weddings, I noticed some usual pattern that people tend to do. Wedding reception do exist to celebrate happiness but I do believe it also invite a feeling of annoyance, resentment and even bitter acceptance of the cold hard truth. And the perfect ways of inviting the excruciating pain feeling is when some people made out questions and statements that are better left unsaid. Here are some that I noted and the one I resent

1. Question: Bila ko nak kawin plak? - for the singles
Dah kawin ni, xnak anak ke? - for the married
Dah ada sorang, bila nak tambah lagi? - for the married with 1 kid

Why I personally hate it? Number one: it's a personal choice. By right, a person can choose to marry whenever he or she wants. Number two: Nothing is going to affect the one who's asking if he or she is getting married or not so why bother asking? Number three: subconsciously we may hurt the one we asked. Maybe he or she just broken off engagement or found out that they are having problem with conceiving. But I'm not ruling that the question is out of bound. It can be asked of course, but by closest friends or family and it should not be followed by sub question such as la lambatnyer lagi, apasal lama sgt...

2. Statement: Cepat2 la kawin, nanti melepas, seronok kawin ni tau...

reason for hating it: It's irrational to ask someone to get married quickly when he or she knows for him or herself that they are in no fit state to get married. No 1 issue, when someone urge it, please think of another question: with whom should this person married? Marriage is not an issue of going to shopping malls, pick up the goodies and come home. It's an arrangement when there is no warranty, no return, no rebate and no satisfaction guaranteed. What you have is what you have for life. Another reason is just because marriage seems to work for everybody does not mean it's working for everybody. Put it this way, milk is good for your health but deadly for those whom are lactose intolerant or have milk allergies. Just because it is good that does not mean it applies to everybody. Still I'm not denying that married people is definitely happier but once again, it's personal choice.

3. Statement: Ko ni jgn memilih sgt nanti susah...

Reason for hating it: Ok, do you know me from Adam???? How on earth can you determine that I'm a choosy person based solely on the fact that I'm coming to a wedding with friends not spouses? This is again, personal choice, and plus what is wrong with screening process? Like I said, marriage is for life. And most of my friends whom are single, I found out that they don't have a tight screening process is just: a) they haven't met the right person b) they met the one but he/she just wasn't meant to be c) they are focusing in other aspects of life or d) they are happy just the way they are. So why can't you just let them be?

This is the last statement and by far the one I hated and resent the most...

Statement: Ko ni jangan melebih2 sangat nanti xde laki berani nak dekat ngan ko...

Reason: If a man said this, the only fit statement worth to replied is 'That's your problem, not our problem'. Please people, we are not cavemen anymore...women deserve to get to the top just like man does and women have the right to have successful career just like men shooting for. Just because we are genetically engineered to get our hands dirty in kitchen and in diapers, that does not deny the right for women to get their hands dirty in the office as well. And what's better for personal growth if not competition? So men, of you're saying something like this, are you afraid of competition? Plus, afraid of the contestant of a 'weaker sex'? I am not being feminist nor condemning the XX population, it's just it's really getting on my nerve when I heard such cavemen statement.

If a woman said this, the only thing that I can think of is 'please don't do injustice to your mother, your friends and plus to yourself'. By saying that, you limited yourself to what you can achieve and blind for what you actually can achieve. Just like Barrack Obama said, there's two type of worlds: the world as it is and the world as it should have been. When you said that, you're accepting the world as it is and you conform to what others conform you not by what you want to. But if you can see the world as what it should have been, you can see change. That women can have both marriage and career as priority and plus other dreams that can expand beyond your imagination. And plus, career moms bring more income to household lead to better living condition. I'm not saying that women should disregard marriage but for me marriage should not be THE ONLY priority...

So there you have it, the things that I resent to hear and to be questioned during weddings. Let just hope that people do get some common sense and avoid these...

One half done, another half to go...

Time flies when one does have fun and it's true. I am truly astonished to find out that half of the year 2009 is already gone. But this half year that I spent is worth hundreds years of experience in my life. And it's all happen for one thing. And to be honest, the journey started way back, years ago. It started on the day when a bunch of us stood up against 200 UiTM freshman students during our very first meeting of PBSMM Chapter UiTM. The bunch of us, Skuad Khas group or maybe the outsiders may call 'show-off' or 'kiss ass' group volunteered to do extra for our co-curricular subjects. Some of us even went further like me and my other friends whom I proudly considered as my best friends, my brothers and sisters and we become the AJKD. One of the task that we had to do back then was teaching basic first aid. If I think back, that memory of teaching it had stemmed my passion for teaching and imparting not my wisdom, but at least a bit of knowledge that I've gained within the four walls of classrooms as well as outside it.


In 2003-2004 circa, I gained the passion for teaching. And this year in 2009, I gained my temporary license, a 3 month-training in SMK TTDI Jaya. I am not going to elaborate about my experience over there but if I can summed it in one word it would be difficult. But if you ask me if it's ok to feel it, I would say yes because it's a good difficult experience for me.

Being raised in a family of high achievers, it is shame for me to say that me end up being a teacher is not on par with the hall of fame of our family. But after practicum, the view changed profoundly and I also think that it is necessary for the society to change their view about teaching profession. From the way I see it, it seems like everybody talks like they can be a teacher. Even worse, there are someone that had the nerve to say "since I can't get a decent job after I graduate, might as well I be a teacher". But frankly speaking and I quoted from my lecturer, "A teacher is not made, it is born". Unless you have a real passion for it, don't even thinking of putting up a clean shirt every morning, pin your name tag carefully and drive 10km/hour entering the school gate. Because teaching is not a job, is a responsibility. And it is a responsibility not to be taken lightly. And from the way I see it also, a teacher's job is often being compared to a doctor's job which is what the call the noble profession. And sincerely speaking, a med student is likely to be seen as the successful one compare to education student. I am not going to judge them. I do think doctor's job is a noble job and not everyone can be a doctor like teacher but believe me when I said this, next to mother, a teacher is the noblest job that you can ever be. While doctor struggle to take care of a human life, a teacher struggles to take care a human soul. And what a fragile soul we have. Once dead, it's almost impossible to revive it back. Put it simply which one you rather have, a dead son or an alive son who's dead inside? For me, I would choose the first one.

Human when they die, we did what god asks us to do. For us it's four steps: bathe it, cover it, perform the prayer and bury it. But if a soul dies, what can we do? Where do we find the pieces when it can't be seen? Plus, is it even a whole before it was broken? That's what a teacher puts up everyday, they take care of it. And one mistake can damage it. And particularly for me who opted to be an English teacher. I'm teaching them on how to communicate, to make connection, to reach understanding to one another and in deep, to enable one person to pour out his or her soul to another person to be understood. It's difficult and sometimes unbearable and it's not even surprising how many of teacher end up killing their own souls in the end. But there is one thing that enable me to get through it. It is when one of them looked up to me and call me 'teacher'. To earn the name is a great honor and it's signaling something. It's signalized as someone look upon us a an example, as someone that always do the right thing and as someone who he or she can look back and reflect.

If you're reading this and feel like I'm exaggerating, feel free to do so. I'm not writing this to be judged, nor to be admired. But I do have one request, after reading this please hailed your drinks if you have but if you don't hailed up anything you have (but if you're working right now or in a public place please don't hail your skirt or something resembling it because that would be a crime) and celebrate if you're one of these two:

a) if you are also a teacher, hail yourself and the others and say your grace to the Almighty for choosing you to enter this wonderful teacher.
b) if you're not a teacher, hail the teachers that you owed for making you to become the wonderful person you are now...

Now I have another semester to go and I hope I can get a real license to teach after graduating...AMIN...